Author Archives: Alex Vann

5 Things I’m Teaching My Kids for Success

Don’t count on your kids being successful, unless you are training them both to earn it and then learn how to handle it once they have it.  Failure is a given, success is optional.

But, before you despair there are a few things you can do to sharpen your kids for success. I’m a father of four, been married almost 20 years and lead an organization of almost 150, but I don’t take for granted that my children will just “turn out alright.” I don’t want my kids as  “alright” adults. I want my kids to be outstanding adults. We have too much mediocrity.

These 5 things I’m sowing into my kids lives to help foster outstanding adults. See, I don’t measure success by culture’s standards. I’m their father. I’m measure their success by my standards. That’s why God gave them to me and not someone else. These standards are steeped in the successful historic tradition of bygone generations and the unbending principals found in the timeless truths of the Bible.

1- Work Hard. I actually make my kids do work they don’t enjoy. Don’t mishear me, I never use work as punishment. A child must learn to view work as necessary, not as a nuisance. Sadly, today many children and now young adults see work as a nuisance. There will never be true success without hard work.

Work has to come before rest, before pleasure and before comfort.  Work ethic is learned when children are young and developing. If kids don’t learn to work when they are young (outside the military or Jesus), they most likely will never learn it. Before we have fun, we work. Before we quit, we finish. Assign your kids “necessary work” that fits their frame.

A word about teaching little boys to work. Boys on average have more energy in their bodies. They need to be put to work, especially outside. It’s wired in little boys to conquer, to explore and to push the limits. Nature is hard to conquer. Nature will sap your physical strength faster  than anything manmade or mechanical. So, if you have a little bundle of energy get them outside in the sun, in the heat with a shovel or picking up sticks.

My father used to take us boys and make us fill up holes in the yard, work outside and pick up sticks. I felt like these were the most pointless and sweat-induced jobs, but as an adult I remember these painful, tiring tasks because this hard work at an early age taught me the thing that all kids and adult need for success: discipline.

Work teaches your child a healthy measure of adversity, which they will encounter in buckets full later in life. A principal in hard work is endurance. Endurance is strength over time. Anyone can be strong for a second, but what your child will need is strength for a season.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 24:10 “If you faint in the day of adversity your strength is small (weak).”

 

2- Consider others. We are rapidly becoming the most self-centered society the world has ever seen. You have to get your kids to think about others. To consider something is to put it under review. You have to teach your children to think about others and be ready to help, serve or support as is necessary.

Success is rarely achieved alone. And it’s definitley never held alone. We as humans are designed to live in community. A community is the sum of your relationships. When you spend all day as a child on a smart phone, a tablet or a gaming console system, you are training your child to bend toward isolation and separation from others. Make your kids put their digital devices down and away.

Make your kids serve others. When you teach your kids to serve others it teaches them to think about others, not just themselves. This can happen a multitude of ways: at dinner make someone’s chore be to clear their siblings or parents dishes,  clean one another’s room periodically, or any number of things to train your child to think about others.

A Bible verse I used to hear my mother remind my siblings and me was John 13:35 “By this will all men know you are my disciples if you have love one for another.”

3- Trust God. This means not only acknowledging that there is a God, but that He is involved in your life. The biggest way you teach your kids to trust God is to involve God in your discussions about your decisions in front of your children.

Trusting God means you recognize you need God’s help in your life and you request it. Be careful about driving your kids to independence. Your children are designed to be independent of your financial support and shelter in their adulthood, not childhood. But, until you die, your children should always be dependent upon your influence and counsel in their lives, just as they should be upon God for his influence and counsel in their lives. Your children may not always be under your roof, your rules and your resources, but they are never outside your reproof. 

Trusting God means learning to listen to God. Make your children listen to you. If they don’t listen, then there must be consequences. Because, later in life when they don’t listen to God or their employer or the police there most certainly will be consequences and consequences much more significant than what they receive as a child.

The best way to learn to trust God is to take him at his word. His word is what he has already said.  And what God says doesn’t change. This is why he is absolutely trustworthy. What God has said he has recorded for us in the Bible. Reading your Bible trains your kids to trust God, because they know what God has said and where to look for what he has said.

Teach your kids Proverbs 3:4-5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” 

4- Stay humble. Humility is an exercise in letting others go first. Teach your kids to give their best but not to demand the best. The world demands the best, but gives the worst. A humble person knows that the best is always yet to come.

When life doesn’t go your way, stay humble. Humility doesn’t burn bridges or express every opinion. You don’t need a position to lead, you simple need humility. There will be times that your child fails or gets rejected. A proud person walks away and is worse because of it. A humble person gets back up and faces the failure, the rejection.

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

5- Forgiveness. Everyone can take offense and give offense. Everyone can defend themselves and be defensive. But, not everyone will forgive others and even themselves.

Make your child forgive one another.  When they are little make them apologize and make them say, “I forgive you.” And then make sure they can operate in a place of forgiveness.

Even more important is that as your kids get older, at the appropriate time (not 10 years later) apologize and your kids for forgiveness when you mess up. Kids know their parents aren’t perfect. They also know when their parents are holding a grudge of unforgivenss against them. A child’s heart grows best and healthy in an environment of love and forgiveness.

We need forgiveness, because we are a bunch of flawed people living among flawed people. Forgiveness is not a release from failure, but a release from the penalty and punishment of failure. Often, we say we forgive, but we want to keep punishing the other person. There is a difference between consequences and punishments. Consequences are changes as a result of a failure that may or may not have a definite term limit. Punishment is retribution or restitution for failure, but it has a definite term limit.

Another verse I can distinctly hear my mother singing to me, “Be ye kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ Jesus forgave you” Ephesians 4:32.  (I had to add the “ye” because that’s how she’d sing it).

Parents we have work to do. These principles are just as much for we, parents, as they are for our kids. These truths if laid down in the lives of your children will steer your children toward success and away from a life of depravity and failure. There can be no true, lasting success without the blessing and favor of Almighty God. These thoughts and these verses are designed to draw your trust and your child’s heart to a place of surrender and submission to the Maker and Creator of your child’s life.

“It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.“

Fredrick Douglass

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

 

 

 

 

Podcast – The Millennial Mentor (Episode 1) – Other than My Title, Why Would Anyone Follow Me?

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You are not a leader unless you have followers. Everyone can exercise personal self-leadership, but not everyone will be a leader that connects and collects with followers. You will not collect followers until you connect with people. Even those with a title or a position, may not have real people follow them in real time.

To be a leader that others follow you must…

1- Demonstrate a care for others that is greater than yourself. Care is three parts: (1) concern, (2) love, and (3) loyalty. A leader who doesn’t show concern is demonstrating a selfishness. People love a selfless leader. A leader must show unconditional love. A heart connection is the deepest connection. Leaders must learn to love their people more than their position. Finally, a leader must demonstrate absolute loyalty to loyal people. A lack of loyalty from a leader to his/her people is an automatic eject button.

2- Hold yourself to high personal standards, but be ready to give grace. Followers need consistency in conduct. Leaders must have impeccable integrity and set themselves up as the example. Followers don’t want to follow leaders who get a position and them reward themselves with perks and allowances. Followers love leaders who hold themselves above personal privilege and perks. This also speaks to holding others accountable. A leader must hold a consistent firm line with everyone, but they must consider each one as an individual. Leaders make allowances for your people, not for your self. Be ready to give grace instead of giving grief. Leaders who start with grace are leaders that others want to follow. There are no perfect leaders and no perfect followers, so a leader should be ready to give lots of grace.

3- Set a positive tone with a positive attitude.  The leader is the the thermostat, not the thermometer. The thermostat sets the temperature, the thermometer reads it. Don’t do negativity. Don’t be naive, but start from a positive place and build on that. People follow positive people. Like attracts like. If you have a team or organization full of negative people, then your leaders are probably negative and the same if you have a team full of positive people. Drive negativity and bad attitudes out of your organization. Negativity is like mold. You can’t find it, but it stinks up the room. Positivity is like sunshine. It warms and welcomes.

4- Be the first to take responsibility. Don’t shift blame, pass blame or start with blame. Be ready to admit as the leader that you are ultimately responsible and it starts and ends with you. People want to follow a leader who will step up and take responsibility, even when it probably really isn’t their fault. People love a leader for that kind of a behavior.

5- Know where you are going and clearly communicate direction. People need a vision. They need to know where they are going. People would rather go the wrong way with a good leader, than to go the right way alone. This is why leadership is so important. It is up to the leader to not only provide the direction or vision, but to make sure the information is communicated clearly and timely. Followers like to be “in the know.” Most people if they are loyal can handle more sensitive information. Leaders must practice more sensitivity than secrecy.

 

 

Questions for teams to consider:

1 – Rate your organization 1-10 on how much you think people feel cared for. How can you demonstrate greater care for those in your organization? What will it take to get that number higher?

2- What is grace? What positive effect can it have on those in your organization? How do you hold high standards, yet give grace to others?

3- Rate your personal leadership on “positivity” and “energy” on a scale from 1-10? positivity:_____ energy: _____ : What will it take from you to get those scores higher? What prevents you?

4- How does blame make a team more ineffective and less productive?

5-What is the vision of your organization today? Compare your answer with others on your team. How clear is the vision and direction? Why is it clear or unclear?

 

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

Leadership Word of the Week: Wait

Ah, this week’s word is a word we don’t like to hear and even more we don’t like to experience. We live in a give-me, give-me-now, what’s-taking-so-long society. And the by-product is that we are becoming cold, demanding and we are developing fewer high caliber leaders.

This week’s leadership word is wait.

To wait means you delay your response or activity until a more suitable or favorable time appears for you to act or react.

Waiting is good for you because it teaches you delayed gratification. We live in an instant gratification world. Instant gratification is the process by which that which pleases you is gained quickly. The problem with instant gratification is that it is short-lived and short-sighted. Not only that, but instant gratification diminishes the value of things that have to worked for. Delayed-gratification means you are willing to work and wait for something valuable. Delayed-gratification actually increases your understanding of value, both to yourself and of the thing or opportunity you are working for.

Waiting teaches you to tell your self “no.” And if we have ever been living in a day and age where we need to learn to say “no” it is now! I watch young parents who don’t feel like telling their screaming kid “no” just hand them their phone, put a video on and even slap a pair of headphones on the kid. What they should do is tell the child “no” and then when the child pitches a fit, enact their parental authority and merit consequences. If we won’t tell ourselves no, then we certainly wont tell others no either. No is a word that restrains us. We need restrain, because without no, we expose ourselves to unnecessary risks and temptations. Just because you want it doesn’t mean you need it. Waiting helps you discern your needs from your wants, helps you determine what is necessary from what is unnecessary.

“Waiting is key to developing others because it allows them to catch up.”

Waiting teaches you to when to say yes. Waiting is not all about no. It is also about when to say yes or when to pull the proverbial trigger. Anyone who has shot a bow and arrow or used a rifle understands that there is an optimum time to say yes and many other times to say no. Waiting teaches you to find the right window. There will be more options that you think there will be in your future, especially if you are talented and have a positive personality. Thus, as you learn to wait, you also learn when to say yes. Waiting for the right time, the right opportunity or the right person is the value of delay. Delay is not a denial. Delay allows the best opportunity to present itself.

Waiting increases your perspective. Perspective is the value of time over distance. And when you don’t learn to wait, you have a flawed, narrow perspective. When you have to wait you have the opportunity to see more and think more. And leaders definitely need to spend time doing both of these activities. Instead of rushing to solve a problem, first seek to understand the problem. Instead of cutting off a person who is talking to you about an issue, wait and listen to what they have to say.

There is a fear attached to waiting. We often think that if we wait, then we will miss out. This is not true. What we miss when we don’t wait is the best opportunity and the best option. There is always a time for decision and action, but it is after you have learned the principle of waiting.

Waiting helps you learn patience which is a key to love. Leaders must love others. And those who are impatient are often the most unloving. Love is patient. If you want to see those around you grow and develop, sometimes you have to wait on them to catch up and be patient for them to get it. Smart people are often the most impatient people. This is why so many all-star professional athletes make terrible coaches; the game was easy for them, and they grow impatient when it isn’t easy for others. Great leaders know how to wait on their people, because they value their people. Things you value, you are willing to wait for.

Waiting is fertile ground for innovation and creativity. Waiting doesn’t imply you stop working. It simply implies you stop forcing, worrying or demanding action that is premature or unnecessary. When you have to wait, when you experience silence, your mind actually has to go to work. And a mind at work is where the creativity and the innovation really happens. As you wait for your next opportunity, you have time to experiment and to test some ideas you wouldn’t normally have. Waiting gives you time to edit what you have been working on. Too many good ideas make poor actions, because there wasn’t enough editing of the idea going on.

Waiting can make you stronger. Development never takes place in an instance. A change in direction can take place in an instance, but changing direction is not development. A new mindset takes a while to set in. Any muscular development needs action, then rest. Waiting is a form of rest. Your mind needs rest. Your body needs rest. Accepting waiting as a form of rest is a mature leadership practice that all the truly transcendent leaders have understood. I love the Bible verse, “for those who wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:31). One reason why we have such poor leadership and so many empty leaders is that they haven’t allow themselves to wait. Rushing will never renew your strength. But, waiting certainly will.

Waiting is not a curse, it is often a blessing. So as you think about your personal leadership development, allow waiting to be a significant part of the course. Waiting is good for us.

“I’m sure God keeps no one waiting, unless he sees that it is good for him to wait.”
-C. S. Lewis

 

 

 

*Today’s word is the fifth Leadership Word of the Week in this series:
1-Hustle
2-Presentation
3-Grit
4-Drive
5-Wait

I love hearing from you. Leave a comment and I may be able to reply. Keep leading, it’s need more than ever.

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

Leadership Word of the Week: Drive

Everyone is motivated by something. The problem is that many people don’t have a clue what motivates them. They live life just reacting to the stimuli that they are confronted with. This kind of person lives a very shallow and dull life. They are moved or carried by the currents of life.

What so many people are lacking today is simply: drive.

Drive is the invisible, internal force in a person that is where motivation meets activation.  Drive takes your desires and makes them become directions Drive is what keeps you moving when everyone else has quit, gone home or accepted defeat. A car in park does not serve it’s purpose. Cars are designed for transport. Just like cars, there are too many people in the world today who have placed their lives in park or neutral. Park means you are going nowhere. Neutral means you will be pulled or pushed into the direction of another.

Drive is more than desire. To express a desire to do something, to expound your thoughts about doing something, these are not drive. These are merely desire. Desire is either fuel or fumes. Fumes happen when the only energy your desire meets is in your mind. The fumes of your desire escape and you move nothing, do nothing and gain nothing. Desire is fuel when you possess drive. But, having desire alone is an empty gas tank. A car in drive with no desire moves nowhere.

When you have drive, you enjoy the ride. You enjoy the journey. Too many people today are so obsessed with the next step, they don’t enjoy the one they are standing on. Escape is not drive. Don’t mistake escape for drive. Escape is a feeling of just wanting to get out. Drive is understanding why you are here and what you can do about it–what you can learn while you are hear. Drive is not as much about the destination as about the journey. The journey is where the joy happens. For example, you enter your vehicle in a road race. Which joy is more lasting, the trophy or the time spent on the track. The most powerful memories come from running the race, not receiving the rewards. Trophies are meant for shelves and collect dust. Great lives are not determined by the number of trophies, but the number of miles on the track. And no race is won with a car stuck in park or neutral.

Drive is a differentiator. If you want to differentiate yourself from your peers and excel to a level beyond them, then drive on in learning, in understanding and in output. Your input often determines your output. The reason you don’t get as much out of something, a job, a position or a work is that you simply have put enough into it. And it goes beyond just putting in, you need to pour in. Pour your emotional energy, your mental energy and your physical energy in to what you already have. Too many today in our workplaces simply take more out than they put in. Those who have drive, pour more in than they take out. Those that are driven have an internal energy that burns when the external encouragement dries up. Those who live for feedback lack drive. Driven people don’t need lots of encouragement. Conversely, they are little affected by discouragement. A person with drive moves on despite the applause, despite silence and despite boos.

Drive reveals your mental and emotional strength. There are too many weak-minded people and emotional cupcakes in the world today. Drive reveals itself in a solid, steady and strong mind-set. Drive keeps you going when everything and everyone quit. Drive brings you in early and keeps you late. Drive goes the extra mile and does the extra work. Drive is not accepting poor performance or inferior results as final. Drive keeps working, keeps seeking, and keeps knocking.

Drive is also like hunger–a hunger to do more, see more and be more. Drive is a hunger to learn, to grow and to develop. Drive is an appetite and those that have it stay lean and hungry. They don’t arrive. They don’t push back from the table. They keep themselves lean and hungry, not lean and cranky. They have an insatiable appetite to experience for themselves what others merely look over, pass by or completely ignore. Drive is a kind of curiosity that keeps you turning over stones, looking behind bushes and digger deeper.

People who have drive are able to press on when they get push back.

In a world of passengers, be a driver. In a world of floaters, be a driver. In a world or spectators, be a driver. Those who drive experience fuller, more productive lives.

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

Leadership Word of the Week: Grit

In a furious world full of snowflakes, we need strong men and women who don’t melt at the first thought of heat. We need to teach our children, our teams and our people to rise to the occasion and stop dropping our heads and evaporating when life doesn’t go their way.

We need to teach our kids, our teams, our people and ourselves one word above all others today: Grit.

Grit is being tough when you feel weak. 

Grit is both your ability to step into adversity and stand up under it. Grit is where your energy meets adversity. Call it perseverance. Call it endurance. Grit is where courage rejects fear. Grit is the place your heart grows stronger than your sight, your strength and your mind. Toughness and single-mindedness define the one who is filled with grit. In a world where weakness is being modeled and praised, we need a movement to bring grit back!

Grit leaves a legacy. But you will never leave a legacy until you first leave a mark. Most people today, because they don’t have grit, just simply leave altogether.

Sandpaper has grit. Sandpaper leaves it’s mark. Construction paper is colorful and makes all kind of cute dioramas, but leaves no lasting mark on its environment. The first storm and construction paper turns into destruction paper—a wet, weak mess. People without grit are like construction paper – colorful, but impotent. Sandpaper on the other hand is strong and makes an impression when rubbed.

Have you ever rubbed construction paper?

Construction paper can’t stand up to the pressure. Because, construction paper has a weak constitution. You, literally, can rub a hole right through it. But, sandpaper is made of a different constitution. Part paper, part glue and all grit (sand grains) makes sandpaper a formidable force for any surface.

Grit makes you formidable. We live in a pressure packed world. But, those with grit can handle the pressure. Grit allows gives you the determination to be undeterred. The world wants to crush you. Seriously, nothing in the world improves itself. It all decays. All the forces of this world will pull you down. We used to have men and women who fought for things and built things. Now, we just have people who want to be given things.

No one can give you grit. You get grit by setting your face like flint to hard things, clenching your teeth and taking one step at a time. Grit takes no shortcuts and keeps you in it for the long haul.

Grit makes sparks in your soul. The reason there are so many passionless people is they are looking for a passion instead of looking for grit. Grit says, “Give me the hard way.” But, no one wants hard things anymore. Our world’s mantra is “make it easy and make it sweet.” You will never learn grit that way. The grit gets sucked out of you and you become the wrapping paper instead of the construction paper.

Grit goes to work. Listen, life is not fair. Stop wishing it was your version of fair and just get to work. And once you get to work, keep working. I see so many young people without grit, without stick-to-it-ness. When they don’t get what they want. They quit.

Grit don’t quit.

Life is not going to go your way all of the time, in fact, most of the time. And life, certainly, isn’t easy. So, when life doesn’t go your way, you suck it up and go to work. This is grit. And grit is only learned as you work hard. Because, grit can only be learned as you work hard. You can’t learn grit playing video games or watching videos on the internet. You can’t learn grit by letting someone else fight your battles. You can’t learn grit by reading social media posts or listening to popular pundits. You can’t learn grit from having a mentor or getting feedback. You can’t learn grit from running from your problems. You can’t learn grit by hiding from adversity.

You learn grit when you don’t quit. We have a world full of quitters today. They call it “advancement” or “leaving for the next opportunity.” But, too many people leave too early, simply because they don’t have the mental, emotional or even physical fortitude to suffer through one fruitless season into a more fruitful one.

“Over time grit is what separates fruitful lives from aimless ones.”
~John Ortberg

Grit is a divider. It divides the morally strong from the morally bankrupt. It separates the winners from the losers. It separates the men from the boys, the women from the girls. Grit puts it’s big boy and big girl pants on and gets to work. Grit is the line between those who stay and those who just want out. Grit is the line between those who absorb the pressure and  those whine to get their own way and escape the pressure. Information will never make you stronger, but straining under hard things will always make you stronger.

Get some grit and get to work. Those with grit will outlast and out-perform those without it.

Grit means “getting results in-spite of trials.”

(C) Alex Vann, 2018

 

 

*Special thanks to my iron, my friend and eldest sibling, Aaron, for a discussion about grit that gave me this week’s word.

Leadership Word of the Week: Presentation

As our society and culture becomes more casual, this word becomes more important for those who look to differentiate themselves from their peers.

This week’s leadership word: Presentation

Presentation is where presence meets projection.

People are always wanting to know (a) can I trust you and (b) are you prepared? A strong, positive presentation is a personal statement of both trustworthiness and readiness. This is true of a customer who walks up to consider your wares. This is true of a leader who is wondering if you have earned a promotion. This is true of a potential mate, employer or relationship.

Your personal presentation is a statement to others on how to interact and respond to you.  Poor personal presentation kills your influence and creates a negative impression. A positive personal presentation creates greater influence and calls for others to respond to you with seriousness, attention and respect.

 

 

Presentation is a statement about what you are offering. This is important, because you must learn to see the people around you as your potential investors. You must present yourself and your responsibilities well so that others are willing to invest. A strong, positive personal presentation creates a greater inclination towards trust and opens the door for opportunity.

Your dress, your attitude, your tone, your language, the number of words you use, your energy, your passion, your appearance, your grooming, your smell, your breath, your hair style and, yes, your social media presence all add up to equal your personal presentation. It’s not just one, it’s all of these and more combined at all times.

You must be sharp. This means you present a message by who you are of order, of dependability and preparation. If you are not presenting a message of sharpness, you are presenting a message of being dull. The sharp knife always replaces the dull one. This means sharp dressed, sharp groomed and sharp eyed.

Presentation means you have put the work in before you show up. Presentation means you don’t ever just show up. Your energy and your enthusiasm are contagious. People are drawn to energy. People are drawn to simple, sincere energy. Without it you are merely presenting ideas they are convinced you believe in or have changed you.

“Your enthusiasm becomes their enthusiasm; your lukewarm presentation becomes their lukewarm interest in what you are offering.”
-Bill Walsh

Your preparation determines your presentation. Your personal presentation is where you transmit your presence. Presentation, thus, is a powerful statement of who you are and what you are about. You want to strengthen your personal presentation. A great meal is enhanced by the atmosphere that is created. Your abilities are enhanced by your presentation, because you are not a hermit. You live among people. The Bible tells the truth, “People look at the outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Don’t deceive yourself, people do look at outward appearances (God looks at your heart). People are always looking. So, as you are dealing with people, you need  to prepare and to present well.

Wrapping paper paves the way for a gift, just as personal presentation paves the way for influence.

Let’s go to work!

(C) Alex Vann, 2018

Leadership Word of the Week: Hustle

As you develop people, in order to reach them you need to teach them new concepts and use vocabulary that represents these concepts. Using a word or a short group of words often facilitates quicker understanding and quicker application.

This week’s word: Hustle

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

-Abraham Lincoln

Hustle means to use more energy get things done faster. Hustle means to use energy that maybe you didn’t want to because the situation calls for more. To hustle means you have to move quickly. Hustle doesn’t mean you move without thinking, it means that you are able to reach another, higher gear while doing the same task.

Hustle kills sloth. Sloth is a malaise that is always present in the individual lives of your team and also thus, is always growing or dying in the collective life of your team, department or organization.

Hustle creates high productivity. Hustle is where initiative means energy. Successful teams are characterized by members who actually take the initiative, not merely talk about initiative. Initiative is always seized. It has to be taken. And taking initiative always requires more energy than before. This what happens, people like the idea of getting things done earlier and faster, but the reality is they do not want to expend any more energy than they feel like they have to.

Hustle is energy at work. Energy is either gained or drained. Energy at rest never creates a greater capacity for force. Energy like muscle drains if you don’t use it. Using energy gives you a residual, incremental increase in more energy over time. It has to be paired with rest.

This week work hustle into your work.

Hustle comes from the heart. Those who love what they do and who they are doing it for or with, find it reasonable and expected that they will give more energy and more initiative before they are called upon, but especially if they are called upon.

Those who hustle knock on opportunity’s door most often.

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

How to Develop People

Developing people is tough, time-consuming and taxing, but as a leader it is absolutely one of the most important and mission critical tasks you will ever do. People need development. People develop people.

#1- See the need and the potential in the person, before the production. People need development. Productivity takes time.  Development is different than growth. Growth is what you see, development is what you don’t see. Production is what you see, development is what you don’t see. If you are looking for quick fixes and quick growth, you will not succeed for very long in truly developing those around you. You must train yourself to look for the potential in those around you. This is why the NFL, NBA, MLS and MLB spend so much money on scouting, tracking and drafting people with potential. They believe in their system, they can unlock the potential of the one they drafted. You must see the need and the potential.

#2 – Development takes time– relentless, intentional time. You cannot and will not develop people quickly. People are complicated locks that take time to unlock. If you want to develop others for long term success then you have to be in it for the long term. So if you are the one being developed or the one doing the developing, you must surrender your time. This is super hard to do, because we want to value our time. In the development of others, the greatest gift you can give is the undivided, availability of your time. When you give undivided time in the development process you are saying one thing loud and clear: “you are important.” When people feel valued they open their ears, their minds and their hearts.

#3 – Build real, personal relationships. Authenticity is critical in developing others. Initially, with most of those you are developing they will project an image and a persona that they want you to believe in. Your job as a developer is to unmask the one you are developing. Sometimes, masks come off easy, often they take much longer. Masks are signs of pretending and pride. Proud pretenders make terrible people developers.

#4- Teach principles, not performance. Anyone can put on a show. Anyone can interview well. The test of development does not come when you are on stage, but when you are off stage. The test of development comes through adversity, isolation and problems. Principles are timeless truths that guide choices, thoughts and behaviors. Performance is a reaction to a stimulus or a script to be followed. In developing leaders, there is no script. But, there are principles. That’s why a performance may feel powerful for a moment, but it doesn’t last. Principles are powerful, because they last and can be applied in any situation or any circumstance. They give guidance for uncertainty and when there is a lack of clarity. If one thing is for certain in the information age, we have more information with poorer decision making. Thus, we must instill, pound home and chisel timeless truths into the lives of those we are developing. Don’t be afraid to say the same things over and over again–repetition is the key to mastery.

#5 – Set Expectations and clearly communicate them. This is where many leaders go wrong, they assume before they truly set. Assumption leads you to die a slow, frustrating death. Leaders must never assume that those they are developing “get it.” If they “got it” you wouldn’t have to keep repeating yourself or spend time developing them. They don’t get it. That’s why you must set expectations, clarify them and set them again. You must coach, train, develop to the expectations. This is the responsibility of the leader to clearly communicate. The burden of proof regarding setting expectations and communicating them are on the leader, not the one be developed. Now, if they refuse to listen, that is an entirely different story and clearly they are not willing to be developed.

#6 – Release real responsibility into their hands. At some point you have to take the training wheels off the bicycle and let them fall. Now, you must do it in a controlled environment where you have already calculated the risk and set in place contingencies. If you really want to see your team develop, then allow them to fail. This is where all of the helicopter parenting and helicopter education is not helping produce and develop stronger leaders.

Failure is a valuable learning tool. The idea that no one is allowed to fail is simply not only not helpful, it is simply not even true. You don’t build and develop people by shielding them from the consequences of their own failure. Allow them to own their own results. The world is in a “blame anyone but me” mode. This is the environment we live in and develop in. An environment where failure is always someone else’s fault. But, often it is not.

Failure, if approached the right way, builds confidence. David stood and faced Goliath, not because he was Goliath’s equal or because he had more confidence in his ability (although he had great confidence in God), stood there because he had already killed a lion and a bear. And the reason he had killed a lion and a bear is because his father had given him real responsibility to protect the sheep. Jesse, David’s father, knew exactly the dangers his son would face, but he prepared him for danger. He didn’t hide him from danger. Those you are developing need to face the pressure of failure under your protection.

The Law of the Leash: Responsibility

Responsibility is a like leash. When the dog is young and disobedient, but full of energy, the dog needs a short leash. All the dog wants is off the leash. However, the better trained (more responsible) he becomes, the more leash he gets, until he doesn’t pull and jerk you around. Eventually, he graduates from the leash altogether. See responsibility as a leash. Don’t unleash undeveloped leaders, but increase the leash. Eventually, as they demonstrate results that accompany responsibility, take off the leash. But, give more leash, before you take it off completely.

The Law of the Leash: if you are responsible you get a longer leash, if you are irresponsible you get a short leash.

#7 – Above all, hold them accountable. Now, then, this is where accountability comes in. Responsibility demands accountability. This is the least fun, but most impactful part of developing others. This is where great people developers stand out among their peers, they are willing to hold others accountable in the development process. If the results don’t meet the responsibility, reasons need to be examined. There may be some legitimate reasons why the results are lagging. But, never accept excuses. Allowing those you develop to give excuses hinders the development process. I tell my team all the time, “You can be part of the problem or part of the solution, but never both.” Excuses are always part of the problem.

Many people in your organization say want more responsibility, but, what most of them are after is really more authority 0r perceived freedom. They want more power. Most of them cannot handle more responsibility and the accompanying authority that goes with it. The reason you must hold those you are developing accountable is because you have given them more responsibility with authority (power). If they are not using their power correctly, then you need to correct them immediately. This is why “promotion” should follow more responsibility, not precede it. As authority increases, so too must accountability. Far too often, I see more authority given to people followed by less accountability. This will never develop a person well. It will create a tyrant, a boss or a dictator, but never a leader.

What does accountability look like? Well, if the results are lagging and the responsibility understood, then corrective action (pain) needs to be introduced. Pain is an incredible motivator for principled, honest people. This needs to be a private conversation to begin with. Expectations need to be examined and questions asked. Evaluate the one you are developing by their responses. Sometimes, communication was lacking, materials unavailable or extenuating circumstances outstanding. But, when it is not those things, then there must be correction. Make sure the correction fits the consequence. Don’t be too light or too severe. Be measured.

Developing people is a high calling. It can be really frustrating, but even more fulfilling!

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2018

The Formula to Teach the Young How to Succeed: D.E.E.D.S.

We’ve got to get over what the next generation is not getting and how uncomfortable it is making the previous three generations feel. We have the answers they need and they have the energy we need! You can’t stop change. You can’t contain change. And you can’t control change. But, what you can do is leverage change.

In order to be successful in times of transition, you need a fulcrum. A fulcrum is a physics term that has to with (a) the support that turns a lever or it is a literary term that means (b) the one who supplies capability for action. I like to think of a fulcrum as an individual whom which is used to turn a person or an organization. It can also be a person who helps others turn their thoughts and ideas into the correct course of action. Every formula needs a fulcrum. Every tested formula rests on timeless principles.

What this next generation is missing is simple: principled living.

Smart phones aren’t actually making us any smarter. One day we looked up from our smart phones and realized that we weren’t actually an smarter. We had just become buried in a swamp of information and a quagmire of feelings. Emotional maturity and self-awareness died with the advent of social media and photo filters. As we looked around this landscape where everyone else was still looking at their smart phones we realized a glaring absence from the way we live, the way we make decisions and the direction we are moving towards…the absence of principles. They were lost somewhere along the way when we traded honor for convenience, justice for popularity and the sacred for secular. They were lost amidst a deluge of information and the rapidity of technology changing the way we live. We traded principles for speed, for wealth, but mostly for popularity. Public opinion, which changes like the wind, became more important than principled outcomes. The new generation had their opinions which used to be tested by time and trials, elevated instantly to popular status. A generation that had been told everyone was a winner, then had their opinions, pictures and thoughts elevated to proportions that used to take a life time, maybe to achieve. What was thrown out were the principles of the past in favor of popularity and privilege of the present. The previous generations were not only exposed to principles, but had them ingrained along every stop of life. Leadership, life and learning used to be driven by timeless principles. What has been thrown out in the beginning of this 21st century is the importance of principled living and learning.

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”

~Dwight D. Eisenhower

Principles are timeless and tested guidelines that contain truth for application in any situation or circumstance that give clarity for action and response. They are especially helpful for guidance in crisis, confusion and temptation. Principles are like guardrails for the escarpment of high and dangerous places, but also like goads to keep us moving when the temptation to stray into places of pleasure and comfort come calling. If you want to help teach and train the next generation, if you are a part of the next generation, a storm is coming and the thing that you will cling to that will save you and make you successful is principled living.

Let me use a Bible Verse and give you a simple formula that will help you live principled:

“…we are getting what our deeds deserve…“ Luke 23:41

This is part of the conversation as the two thieves on the cross full of a lives that demanded consequence looked upon Jesus as he was dying on the cross and realizing that his deeds didn’t deserve what he was getting.

The formula for success is found in the D.E.E.D.S. These letters are a simple formula for teaching and forming your life around principles. The word serves as a reminder of the principle.

Discipline: Discipline means training yourself for what may come, despite what actually comes. Discipline can be taught. Discipline can be exacted, but only you can be self-disciplined. Self-discipline is dying a rapid death in among a generation that believes that you can be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do and not pay a price for it. Discipline is the price you pay to prepare for success. Discipline does not keep you from success, discipline drives you toward success. It is a ten-thousand practice sessions that lead you to the perfect performance. It is the thousand of hours in solitude training when everyone else had quit or gone home that prepare you for the right opportunity. When you are self-disciplined, you are training yourself to face the unknown. This is why we’ve thrown discipline away, because we think we know our futures. We have become masters of our own destinies because information is so readily available. Discipline means doing the right things over and over again even if no one ever recognizes you. You do it because it is right, despite how you feel or how you don’t feel. Discipline is never a matter of the mind, it is always a question of the heart. Discipline is what leads you to effort.

Discipline + Effort

Effort: Effort is the not the great equalizer. It is the great elevator. Effort is both that which takes a few to the top, but many ride it to the bottom. Discipline + Effort is where the elite began to move away from the average. Average people are disciplined people. Elite people are disciplined and give maximum effort. Effort is the amount of energy you are willing to expend. Most people today are looking for the least amount of effort they can give for the maximum return. This is the loser’s attitude. This is the attitude of the entitled, not the elite. You don’t have to be skilled. You don’t have to have great pedigree. You don’t have to have talent in buckets to give effort in buckets. Everyone has the same amount of time, but not everyone will maximize that time with maximum energy. Effort is easy to spot, because it requires energy. Energy is active. Entitlement is static. When you add discipline to effort you sustain results. Effort without discipline creates a pendulum that will swing your results back and forth.

When I ask someone if they are a hard worker, what I am really asking for examples of their effort. Effort is how you measure work. It takes effort to lift your hand to your fork. It takes effort to chew. It takes effort to pick up a shovel. It takes effort to dig. But, it takes endurance to keep digging. Have you worked outside in a while? The earth yields nothing easy! Why then are we always looking for the easy way. Things that last are hard things. Things that fade are quick and easy. If you want with rock, you have to be able to lift it. Effort and discipline are what build spiritual and mental fortitude–muscle. Each generation will ultimately be measure by their fortitude.

Discipline + Effort = Endurance

Endurance. Ah, this principle is one that is seldom talked about, preached or taught any more. I’m not even sure that many of the next generation have any idea what enduring actually is and what is requires. If you lived through the Great Depression or the Dust Bowl in America, then you know what endurance is all about, because you didn’t have a choice if you wanted to survive. If you lived through World War I or World War II, then you know about years of war, losing hundreds of thousands of the best and brightest of the next generation, and living on rations. If you lived through slavery or indentured servitude, then you know about endurance. If you lived on the prairie on a farm, then you know about endurance. If you didn’t have running water, refrigeration or indoor plumbing, then you know about endurance. If your ability to eat and live was based upon the weather, then you know about endurance. But, what does anyone today know about any of these things? We don’t.

Endurance is patience concentrated.
– Thomas Carlyle

Concentration is critical to endurance. The next generation lacks an ability to sustain concentration. Concentration is focus with purpose. In order to be a truly successful endurer, then you have to get over concentrating on yourself. I will say it until I die, in development, you are your greatest enemy. In order to sustain, you have to not only focus, but hold and maintain your energy in a specific direction for an unspecified duration. The next generation just wants to ask “Are we there yet?” That statement was for little children on uncomfortable car trips before portable electronic devices and GPS. Stop asking that question as an adult. You must learn to concentrate or you will never learn to endure.

The problem today is this: abundance never teaches endurance, but endurance is absolutely necessary for success. Endurance is the ability to sustain discipline and effort through prolonged periods of suffering, uncertainty and loss. It was what helped defined “the American Spirit”–this idea that we would keep working, keep going that our bodies would fail long before our spirits would. That is no longer the case. We live in a world of emotional weaklings. Endurance is a question of soul and spirit. It is ability to say yes over and over to the right thing despite the wrong feeling. It is the ability to say no over and over again to the wrong things despite overwhelming temptation. This is because Endurance is not possible without denial, actually, self-denial.

Denial: Denial is the ability to say no. Self-denial is the ability to tell yourself no. No, this is not good for me. No, this will not help me in the long run. No, despite how I feel, this isn’t right. No, I should not respond, I should think spend more time in thought and less time in reaction. Better thought brings for better responses. This is an instant world we live in. We want instant answers, instant coffee, instant food, instant service, instant wealth, instant acceptance and instant success. But, life does not work that way. We must learn to say no. We must learn to tell ourselves no. The opposite of self-denial is self-indulgence. Indulgence is a principle you want to stay very far away from. People that indulge themselves lack restraint. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint.” This means when you have no vision or the wrong vision, you throw out the ability to tell yourself no.

Denial is a part of waiting. Success is built over time, never in an instance. You may see success happen in what appears to be an instance, but it never is. It is always the result of seasons of preparation, seasons of struggle and seasons of sweat. If you can’t learn to say no, then you lack vision. A vision gives you guide rails or lines to stay inside of. Another word for these buffers are laws. No is the base of laws, because no is absolute. Be willing to hear no. Be willing to accept no. Anarchy and chaos is the absence of no, the absence of restraint. When you can learn to deny yourself, you become more selfless. Selflessness is the final ingredient in the formula of success.

Selflessness: Selflessness is the ability to put your self last, to see yourself only as important as those around you need you to be. We live in the most self-important generation ever. Self-important people are self-promoters. Never have so many unqualified, inexperienced and immature people touted themselves so highly. If you look historically at the strongest generations and strongest societies, they do not preach or teach self-esteem. In fact, they teach the opposite, that self needs no esteem. This subtle shift happened in our culture when popular psychology became more influential than timeless truth. The most successful people don’t look for praise, encouragement or recognition, because they don’t need it. Selfish people need lots of attention. Selfless people need no attention. The code word for attention today is “feedback.” We have over-elevated the importance of feedback. I have learned that feedback among the next generation is really a code word for “positive attention.” As soon as you offer negative feedback it becomes unwelcome.

Dabo Swinney

Selflessness pushes self away and leads you to service. The most successful leaders are those who see themselves as servants of the organization. They see that they serve the greater good. I heard the NCAA College Football National Championship Head Coach of the Clemson Tigers, Dabo Swinney say recently that his role as head coach was “to serve the 30 year old version” of the 18-year old standing in front of me. It requires selflessness to place yourself in unpopular positions based upon truth and conviction. You will never serve others if you aren’t selfless. It’s not that you think less of yourself, its that you think of yourself less! The selfless person doesn’t ever see themselves as arriving only departing. The selfish person is only focused on the arrival. Successful people keep departing, keep learning, keep growing and keep serving. You can’t be selfless without continual humility. You must chose to be humble, even as you are ambitious, seek success and and lead others. Don’t make it about you. Make it about them. Selfless people have genuine joy when others succeed. In fact, they have become so emptied of self, they make it part of their personal mission to see others reach their maximum potential and their calling.

Discipline + Effort + Endurance + Denial + Selflessness = Success

The leverage you need to succeed is a principled life. It is your character that matters more than your competency. It is your reality that will influence your destiny not your fantasy. You will become a fulcrum in your home, on your team or in your organization as you apply these principles to your life. Your influence and impact will both grow. You will not have to look for success. Success will find you. Success is like a magnet. It is drawn towards those who are emitting and sustaining the right attraction. We are in an exciting time on planet earth. To maximize our footprint and our legacy we must live disciplined, principled lives. A world in flux needs leaders who are like fulcrums!

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2017

 

 

What Keeps Talent Connected – The Power of the Moon Pie

How do you stop people from leaving?

Simple, give them a reason to stay. The more reasons they have to stay, the longer it takes them to leave.

When I was a boy, my father pastored a small country church in rural South Carolina. I would often go on hospital and home visits with him. He was wonderful at visiting the elderly, the sick and the lonely. The lonely would always make it very difficult for him to leave. Sometimes, they would follow us out to the car, hold on to the door or lean in the window. They would tell a new story, ask a question or, the one that was sure to keep us longer, bring out dessert! I remember one dear old widow, Mrs. Kirby, she brought out the big guns: an RC Cola and a Moon Pie! That was worth staying every time. See, they didn’t want my dad to leave. He was meeting their needs. They were giving him reasons to stay.

Leaders today have to come on strong with reasons that help talent stay in the organization. One thing won’t do. It takes a talent strategy. The days of showing up and expecting people to stay are history. Reality is they are going to leave.

So what can you do to slow the departure down?

People stay on teams, in organizations and with leaders because of many reasons. The more of these reasons your people see and grasp, the harder it is for them to leave. Let’s call these reasons by a different name: connections. Connection is a word that millennials and centennials really understand. Because, the world we live in an upside down world. The people that work with you and for you have fewer meaningful relationships, are less emotionally mature and have greater anxiety about the future. They are entering the work force with bigger dreams, more debt and greater uncertainty.

Leaders, organizations and employers who create the following connections have a much greater chance at keeping their developing talent longer…

1- Create an atmosphere of clarity. Clarity produces a level of certainty. When things are clear, it is easier for a team member to make a connection–to see where they belong. Clarity is never found through complexity, but always in simplicity. As a leader you need a shorter, simpler and more concise brand message. Too many leaders and organizations are trying to be someone or something that they are not. This plays very false to a generation that demands authenticity. Clarity combined with a life lived driven by a passionate calling is a powerful magnate.

“There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.”
~Erwin McManus

2- Create a powerful sense of purpose. People no longer do things because they are supposed to. This is because somewhere in the past two decades people stopped teaching, stopped accepting and stopped passing on what was supposed to be done. Now, everything is questioned. This is reality. People don’t stay because they are supposed to. They stay because they want to. They stay because they feel respected, they feel wanted and they feel valued.

3- Offer ownership whenever possible. What is ownership? It is a sense of possession with a purpose. Once, people know their purpose, then empower them to possess parts of the business, the organization and the team. This is very difficult for the leader who wants to control everything. Empowerment never comes solely through instruction. It must be paired with investment and the ability to fail.

What?

Ownership is about winning and losing. No one wins all the time–that belief is fantasy. Leaders that win with talent operate in reality.  If you create an organizational path or track where there is no real possibility of failure, then you will never produce people who can win without you. And if they can’t win without you, they will absolutely leave you.

4- Make promises you can deliver on. Don’t say things to keep people you never intend on truly fulfilling. I observe many leaders who will say just about anything to try to keep people on the hook. This is no good. As soon as people get on a hook and they realize it, they want off. But, if people feel connected or plugged in, then they want to stay longer.  This is a generation that wants action, that wants results. When you make promises or say things haphazardly that you don’t follow through on, you create an instant disconnect–literally, you are pulling the plug. This is why simplicity of purpose, simplicity of structure and simplicity of advancement are critical. The simpler the promise, the easier it is to fulfill. If your organization can’t afford a perk, promotion or benefit, then don’t talk about it. Don’t say, “Well, one day we’d like to offer x, y, and z.” That’s no good. All you are doing is speaking into a false reality and you will pay later for it by your talent leaving you. In an age of uncertainty, people are looking for leaders and organizations to deliver on their promises. A promise is a commitment and the world is short on keeping it’s commitments these days. Organizations and leaders need to speak the truth and keep it. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk about one day…talk about today! 

“Always prefer the plain direct word to the long, vague one. Don’t implement promises, but keep them.”

~C. S. Lewis

5- Be generous with your personal time. Be generous with your time. Leaders that give their time freely to their subordinates inadvertently kill bureaucracy. Don’t make people pay for your time. You are busy. You are a leader. Leaders are busy. Everyone knows that. Personal one-on-one or small group settings are hugely instrumental for the leaders of tomorrow. Giving your personal time is an investment into the lives of the next generation. They have access to an abundance of information, but little to no access to wisdom and experience. This is why spending time with you is so valuable to them. Even if you don’t think they are listening, they are. You are the model. The best models can be studied up close. The best models invite careful scrutiny and the freedom to explore. If you are an absent leader or a distracted leader, then you will never unlock the potential of those developing leaders in your organization.

“You have had many instructors but few fathers, therefore, imitate me…“

Paul, the Apostle

6- Invest resources when it makes sense. Often, organizations today just throw money at people as if it will solve the problem. Let me tell you the problem with this “solution”: money can’t create value, it demands to be valued. For example, you offer to pay a person more money to stay with you or start them at a higher rate. All you have done is wage into a bidding war that is easily outdone by the person or organization that comes along and offers more money at a later date. Money is a race with no winner. Because money and perks are unable to satisfy the deepest longings of a persons need for acceptance and value. I tell my team, “I want you to make more money. In fact, I want to pay you more. So, let’s get to work on making this organization more productive. A high tide rises all ships.” When you make it about the money, you enter a path that is impossible to return from. Instead of “paying people more” the solution is to “invest in people more.” It’s subtle, but it’s a mindset shift. It places the emphasis on the people instead of the resource.

7- Tell great stories that promote people. People love stories. People want stories told about them. Get good at telling stories. We have so many forms of media, so many channels by which to tell stories of our people that we have no reason not to. Find people in your organization and (with their permission) tell their story. Media is simply an avenue at telling stories. Humans can not resist a good story. The better you are at telling true stories, the more inspired your people will be to stay with you, especially when you start telling their story. I have a couple of former all-American athletes that work with me. Every time I introduce them, I say, “This is Mandy or Steph, she was an All-American at…” One day, with a huge smile on her face Mandy a college graduate and record-setting All-American soccer player said, “Why do you always tell people I was an All-American when I played in college?” I responded, “Do you like being introduced that way?” She said with a bigger smile, “Yes…” I simply replied, “That’s why!”

The key to winning people is connecting with them, especially at the deepest level the heart. If you only see your people as assets or liabilities for your benefit, your revolving door will move much quicker. See, everyone has a revolving door on talent these days. The solution is not to get mad at the door or live in denial that such a door exists, but to slow the door down. When people connect with you, your purpose/calling and they feel valued, the bottom line is they stay longer.

Talent is a revolving door. You don’t need a new door, when all you need is to slow the door down.

 

 

(c) Alex Vann, 2017